Why things don't get done around here

Another piece from pre-2005. It was part of another unfinished story.

Let me tell you a little more about why these stories never get finished.

I typically start out with a straightforward premise: two women meet and they decide to fight. They don't fight over anything, most of the time. They just fight.

(You know those fight videos where one woman is sitting on the sofa in a teddy and thigh-highs reading Us magazine, and another woman in teddy and thigh-highs walks in and is all, 'Bitch, you broke my hair dryer?'

I don't find that very plausible, frankly. If that's all you've got for a plot, just go straight to the fight.)

So, I've got them fighting, and there's some punching, some low blows, clothes torn off, biting, groping, some making out, some orgasms, and I've got all these pages numbered: 0001.psd, 0002.psd, 0003.psd, and so on, up to 0020.psd or thereabouts. So far, so good.

And then I think, 'Hey, you know what would be cool? Back here on page 3, where Amber tears off Lisa's top, instead she should pull it over Lisa's head to blind her. Then, while Lisa can't see, Amber goes to work on her boobs with some sexy punches. Then she bites her.'

"Owww! Hey, what page are we on?"

So I back up to page 3, and add 0003b.psd. Bap, bap, bap: Amber is popping Lisa in the chest. And then, 0003c.psd, where she bites Lisa.

And then I'm not entirely happy with the way 0003c.psd turned out, so I make some changes, and that's 0003c2.psd.

And then I'm thinking, 'This starts too abruptly. We need to see Amber walking up the stairs to Lisa's condo, and knocking on the door.'

So I go back and draw that, and it's pre0001.psd. And if I decide to change it, there'll be a pre0001b.psd.

And so on, until the story is maybe fifty pages long, and numbered thusly:

pre0001b.psd
0001.psd
0002.psd
0002b-1.psd
0003.psd
0003-dont-use.psd
0003b.psd
0003c.psd
0003c2.psd
0004.psd
0004b-1b.psd
000something-maybe-pre5.psd
0005.psd
pre0006.psd
000lisasucksambersnipplepre.psd
pre0007.psd
0007bfirebreaksoutinkitchen.psd

and so on, and so on, until it's to the point that I have no fucking idea what I've done, what order the pages go in, it's just a total fucking mess now, and I quit and go watch Dr. Who.

Which now stars a guy about half my age.