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| Do you know what happens in the next panel? Oh, yeah. But I don't think I'm ready to post that. |
I bought a Super 8 reel from California Supreme once, and good god, I stayed on his mailing list for maybe ten years. Finally the unsolicited catalogs quit coming. Then, a few years later, after I had gotten married and moved three times, they started coming again.
"Sweetheart, I have no idea where this came from. Um... his mailing list probably got crosslinked at the post office with the one for the L.L. Bean Catalog. Just a database thing."
Do you think she bought that? Nah, probably not. You can't sit at the computer in the back room and draw scantily-clad and naked babes punching, biting and going down on each other and expect the person with whom you share the house to not at least suspect. But she never said anything.
The panel that accompanies this post was drawn on the down-low at the computer in the back bedroom. Internet Explorer was on hot standby, ready to be dragged on top of Fractal Design Painter if my wife walked into the room.
I remember a coworker who was obviously a 'fan.' The place where I was at the time had a fairly large bullpen area for creative staff, and there were three TV sets going all the time, one for each of what were then the only three commercial networks. I say this guy was 'obviously' a fan, because every time a catfight appeared on Dynasty or B.J. and the Bear or whatever, he would stop what he was doing and stand there staring at the TV, absolutely fucking transfixed. He didn't move. He didn't even freaking blink. Hell, he may have stopped breathing. It was like he was witnessing the Miracle of Fatima or a UFO landing.
'Jeebus,' I thought, 'Is that what I look like?'
But even though we were on the same page, I never revealed my secret to him. Frankly, in almost every other respect, he was a dork. I wouldn't have told him if his ass was on fire.
So no one ever knew. Sometimes, I thought about confiding in someone, but then I'd see catfight fans held up for public shaming by Geraldo or Sally Jessy Raphael, and I would be persuaded to keep my mouth shut a little longer.
I thought maybe that Seinfeld episode would open the door for this country to have its long-overdue national dialog on catfighting, but all we seemed to get from it was the inspiration for that Miller Lite commercial.
Which wasn't a bad outcome at all, really.
Now, a question: have you ever told anyone? If so, who was it? Leave a comment – I'd like to hear your story.
I have never told anyone about my fixation with catfighting, until last month. I have been a frequent visitor of every forum, club, group since the beginning of the internet. But never communicated with the other members. I asked the admin of a forum I frequent, who demands participation by every member, if they had ever seen the bronze sculpture depicted in a series of photos I purchased, and kept secreted away, almost 30 years ago. I explained my shyness, I was raised by people either born in or themselves raised by people born in the 19th century, admin was both shocked and amazed and basically told me to join the 21st century. The admin was helpful in trying to me in my efforts to find out more about the sculpture, but I find myself avoiding the forum now that I have revealed so much about myself.
ReplyDeleteI think I remember seeing that forum. If you've had those pix 30 years, it sounds like you're pretty close to my age.
ReplyDeleteI'm on twitter feeds from Cali Logan, Emily Addison, SleeperKid and others, and I am amazed at the candor with which they talk about what they do. I wonder if they realize how recently it was that this stuff was completely underground.
The Internet changed this completely.
Not a soul.
ReplyDeleteI told to my bestfriend (a girl) two months ago. She understood it, she's an open-minded woman.
ReplyDeletei told my last two girlfriends. They got it and didn't mind too much. One of them, the last one, even agreed to make up stories and told me those when we were in bed from time to time. It was just a fantasy and they understood it like that.
ReplyDeleteI have told my wife about this while we were making love. Years ago I got an online copy of a catfight from California Wildcats called "Badass Biker Bitches". The action is faked but done pretty well. One night my wife and I were really into some heavy humping because we hadn't had the opportunity in awhile and things a=had really built up. She told me to tell her my wildest fantasy and I told her about the CW video and what I liked about it. The beginning of the video was the hottest part for me, because it showed the two women prior to their fight to determine who would be the queen bitch of the Gang.
ReplyDeleteBear in mind that these women were beautiful, stacked and dressed in tight leather and jeans. One was on the back of a motorcycle withe here man the other was at the meeting place with her man, really bitching because she wanted to fight and thought the other was going to back out.
The other woman shows up and as I said they were both wearing minimal leather on top and Jeans. They were separated by a high chain link fence and were both insulting the shit out of each other, which was great because I love trash talk to the max! These actresses delivered on this and were insulting and challenging each other through the fence. They were yelling "Well, fuck, it's about time you got your ugly ass here!" and "Look at you, do you think you were gonna scare me wearing that shit, bitch?"
I found this part to be the most erotic, as a matter of fact that one particular scene is now buried into my psyche considerably. Well, I told my wife in great detail the whole scene and she loved it because she had no idea I was really into that aspect of my sexuality.
It was also the best sex I have ever had, because I was pumping her pretty steady as I told her the whole thing...
True story.
RON
When I first saw your blog, and this entry, I was elated to know I wasn't the only one on here who was introverted about this. It took me a few days to collect my thoughts on this topic.
ReplyDeleteI've been into women's wrestling and catfighting since the early 70's, I can remember seeing a show on Real People with mudwrestling, I was glued to the TV. Then it was on many shows, from Lobo to Duke's of Hazard, Heather Thomas did a spot on Fall Guy, then All The Marbles came out, and Stripes. When oil wrestling was in a Clint Eastwood movie, I went 3 times just to see the short clip.
This has always been behind the scenes for me. My mother found a copy of Sports Review Wrestling in my room, and a better hiding spot was needed after that. My college roommate found my copy of Cavalier, he liked the buxom women, I liked to put them in fight fantasies, stories, drawings (never anything as good as your fantastic work Wildebeest), and the stories and art were great as well.
My first wife found some of my catfight collection, raked me over the coals, threw a good bit of it away, said I saw women as fixtures rather than who they really were. That ended a few years after. Second wife, she knew, but we never spoke of it. I'm remarried again, and through circumstances she knows when I fessed up about a story I was writing one weekend. And there in lies the challenge we all face. Some days she is very accepting of it, and others, she is very hateful of it. While she enjoys what it does for us in bed, she doesn't like that it may take precedence over my admiration for her in the heat of the moment. Sometimes I wish I'd never told her, and other days I'm glad I did.
It's not accepted. Period. If it were, ESPN would have women's wrestling rather than poker. Gimme a break, poker isn't a sport. MTV2 wouldn't have their Lingerie Football League if we had women's competitive oil wrestling. GLOW died because it was on Sunday night, after midnight, best use I ever had for a VCR.
I've thought many times, if I had an unlimited amount of money, how would I spend it for my own enjoyment? I'd have my own cable network show in southern Cali, with women's bikini wrestling, cage fighting, wrestling in many substances, many different variants of rules. And late night, we'd have erotic catfighting, very similar to the great art shown here by our host Wildebeest. I've always enjoyed Eric Stanton and RAM, their erotic side of fighting. A show featuring woman on woman face sitting, attacks to nipples, boobs, clits, lips, kissing to distract for erotic pain, a crowd to cheer and roar, maybe a tagging partner to grab hair, spank a needed ass cheek, slip a ball vibrator up between an excited pair of thighs while two hands grasp a set of stiff nipples.
I've accepted to keep it underground. Best for many sides of my livelihood. I stick to writing erotic catfighting stories, and other variants of enjoying this sport, that's how I see it, a sport.
Keep up the good work Wildebeest. You have a true fan here.
Nope. Even when they say the wanna know, I know they don't.
ReplyDeleteThe lack of sophistication about sexual fantasy on the part of the public everywhere is staggering. It actually pisses me off to hear of intimate partners actually having the gall to tear the other down over this. And to destroy your private material because of some self righteous taboo that they mistakenly believe gives them license to do that. It's outrageous! I know of another artist who has lost a job over this kind of thing, and who's wife has threatened him with divorce and public shaming if he continues drawing things that make HER uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteI struggled with similar issues for years and ultimately came to the conclusion that it's basically my business and there's nothing wrong with me and thus this is not harmful.I have been married over 25 years and have the happiest marriage I know of . (She has no problem with accepting fantasy as what it is.) I can tell you that this sort of thing has absolutely nothing to do with the success or failure of any relationship unless one of the partners insists on MAKING an issue of it. THAT is the destructive part of a failing marriage, not whether one of them likes to have sexual fantasies that threaten the other partner's narcissistic fantasy that they need to be worshipped on a pedestal or it means they aren't truly loved. Even in a relationship, you have the right to the privacy of your thoughts, and ideally your partner should value the things that give you pleasure.
No one knows why people like what they do. To make the leap that people who like so called deviant material are somehow "wrong" or "perverted" is to demonstrate that that person has problems of their own that they should be dealing with, instead of sticking their nose into other peoples fantasies and leveling judgements at them.
Oprah and her like are idiots and hucksters of the worst kind and are taken far too seriously by too many people. Anyone who buys into this crap should just get over themselves.
Be free, people.
Steam now coming out my ears!!!
30 years ago when I was in college I told the woman I lost my virginity to. We had a great sex life and spoke openly about a number of different fantasies for both of us and tried many different things that I never felt free enough to do again.
ReplyDeleteShe was tolerant of the idea, but she had been in a fight when she was a teen and was understandably not really into it. I can remember one Saturday morning there was a women's match on pro wrestling, and she was clearly delighted by how turned on it made me, but her only comments were along the lines of "Ow, that would hurt!"
The funny thing is that she really got turned on by wrestling with me. I know mixed wrestling is THE thing for a lot of guys, and I certainly enjoyed the contact with her, but it was nothing like my female vs. female fantasies.
That was the end of that. For 30 years I never told another woman I was intimate with.
I was fortunate back in the 90s to find some phone sex lines with some girls who were very accomplished at helping me live the fantasy. One I stayed in contact with for over a decade, but sadly I lost track of her. Phone sex lines are obsolete now. I miss those times very much.
I'm not even thirty, yet, but I have had this fetish for as long as I can remember. It stated with just plain dirty fighting. Yea, I hadent even hit puberty, yet. Once I did, Dear god, it was on. I'm an artist as well, but not nearly at you're calibur. I actuly think my story telling, and writing has become better, because with handwriting as bad as mine was, no one knew what I was writing about. If you work on something enough, though, you get better. Well, I did. The guy who had to take classes for handwriting, and failed, developed ledgable writing skills. I have boxes full of notebooks that only I can read. Filled cover to cover about a fighter, her life, up to her death. (Never kill off you're main. You will never fill the gap.) Some one found one of my books. Stole it. I freaked. I was woried about what people would think if it got out. In as small of a comunity as I lived in, word would spread. I worked at a restrant at the time, and It turns out that one of the bar tenders had taken it. She wanted to see what I had worked on every chance I got. I flipped as she handed my notebook back, in a rage as only I could pull off. She giggled, handing me the book, and told me "This is very good." That ended my rage. That was the last thing I thought I would hear. I asked her what she liked, and even though it was a straight dirty book, she loved the jobbers rise to the top. It also gave me the confidence to share with a slecet few. They all loved it. I was supprised. My work is quite a bit bloodier ther yours, being it's alot like ECW, but wuth all hot chicks. Anyway, if called out on it, I own up to it. I think that this is a new age, and being so, people are more like "Well, that's his thing." I mean, bondage is what happens after the fight. And I think My family figured it out from the start, because I was lucky enought to catch GLOW on tv, once. My cusien wanted to change the channle, and I told him not to. I still remember clearly Him saing, "Well, we know what he likes." LOL. I know I've already blaw'd enough, but I would like to relate to Slid's story. My parents were married for nearly 25 years. It was bolth of there seconed marages, but they were true to the end. Dad died a few years ago.(No so sorry crap, thats not the point.) But they were true to each other and lived as best they could, providing for us kids. Something you dont see, much, anymore. This is becaus of exacly what Slid is saying. It's trust, respect, and love. I have inherited a collection of playboy sence about the time I was born. Dad had collected them far enough to havd had the marilyn monrrow issue. But he threw them away, because he didnt want to fight with mom over them. Mom, on contrast got mad because not only did he throw away one of the rarest collecters Items around(Even then,) but that he thought she would be offended. To her, marrage was two people who chose to live togather, sepreat,but one. Best friends, lovers, parents. Because of this, there marraige lasted. I'm glad You have found this, Slid, And I hope I do too, one day. That is wonderfull.
ReplyDelete